I read with a bit of excitement Wednesday morning the news on Netanyahu canceling the second part of the security cabinet meeting based on leaks to Ynet the day before.
This cabinet has not met since last October despite the impending doom of Iran supposedly working to drive Israel into the sea. I suspected this leaked material must be a blockbuster so off I went to find out what it was.
The great American circus man, P. T. Barnum, was famous for his saying that “There is a sucker born every minute.” I must admit I got suckered here. As I read through the Ynet article all I got was “the information was disturbing but not daunting...it's not scary...they are holding their own on their international pressure....talk of more sanctions”. Yawn, yawn!!
I then switched back to the Haaretz report by Barak Ravid to find Netanyahu proclaiming, “Someone severely damaged the trust that Israel's citizens have in this forum...hurt the good name of those who attended and did not leak.” Oh shame, oh shame!!
Netanyahu continued that [Israeli security] ..."depends on the ability to hold classified and wide-ranging discussions in the political-security cabinet. That is where all of the facts, opinions and ramifications are presented."..."I have nothing to say against the media, it's doing its job. I do have something to say about whoever broke the very basic trust required for [discussing] Israel's security matters, and who has damaged the capability of holding classified discussions. I have a responsibility to the citizens of Israel for the country's security and therefore I am cutting this meeting short."
Well, I had heard enough by now. I immediately wanted to contact Bibi to have him come to the US to lecture our Congress, White House and military into not leaking national security information...not just to the press, but to Israeli Intelligence operatives that are so thick here in Washington D.C. There should be a limit as to how many are allowed in a room at one time.
It is an open secret here in the land of the free that when any major government meeting is over that people are running outside with their 'special' cellphones to check in with their AIPAC handlers to get credit for turning the goods over the fastest. American counter intelligence has to keep track of all this so they know what the Israelis are getting, but unfortunately that is all they usually can do.
You see, the Israeli espionage game here is played at a level that our public is generally unaware of. In the trade it's called 'front door' espionage. There are no longer underground parking garage meetings, 'Deep Throat' style from the Nixon Watergate days. That is so...Old School.
Now their spies just call their respective committee chairman or National Security Council sources and make an appointment to drop by and pick up what they want. It's like ordering a pizza but they pass on the humiliation of having it delivered. They just send someone to pick it up.
How many get caught? None really, as all these upper level spy sources are called 'protected personages'. They are too big to prosecute, à la…'too big to fail' like the Wall Street and banking firm scandals.
This of course has had disastrous morale effects on our counter intelligence people. When tracking Israeli spies to all of these high government offices, where they get really excited about breaking a big case, they soon get introduced to the real world.
After they hand in their first report they often find their investigation being closed down by higher ups who don't relish the aspect of having to indict key government legislators and executives who vote on their budgets or possibly the confirmation of their next position. Obstruction of justice by political operatives is an ongoing crime here in America.
Besides this shallow reason there is a more sinister one and that is the disclosure of decades of Israeli espionage in the highest halls of our government would cause such a shock to the public's trust in our democratic institutions, that that in itself would constitute a national security threat. Isn't that special?
I hope none of you think I am teasing you here. Just take a look at the track record. Other than the occasional 'onsey' prosecution, a traditional espionage case, when is the last time you saw an Israeli spy NETWORK taken down here? You have a long list of possibilities besides government and military.
How about in media? Major media is heaven on earth for spying with its wonderful cover, access to top people, and best of all...those 'off the record' conversations where you get the really juicy stuff. When did we bust up a spy ring in academia, or our nuclear labs, or the think tank networks where many have turned into literally safe houses...grooming and training grounds for all kinds of spies, young and old.
Our Intel people have to endure the humiliation of seeing spies on the major TV networks being introduced as experts in their fields, making their job of getting good information and recruiting that much easier.
Many of them leave, after retirement usually... just sick of what they have seen go on. Those that protest too loudly find their careers dead ended and bad reports put in their personnel files to taint them in any future testimony they may ponder giving during a moment of conscience.
What I have described is a national disgrace as no warning about this ongoing threat has ever been given to the American people, possibly the biggest betrayal of our government toward its people in our history.
So yes Mr. Uzi Landau, Minister of Water Resources, I support your call to have everyone on the Security Cabinet undergo polygraph tests to discover the leaker of the “It's not scary” material. But if you have time for some weekend moonlighting, could you fly to the States and teach us how to pull off this having all the top people hooked up to the lie detectors. We would so love to ask them a few questions about all their interactions with your spy networks over here. And we of course could make a contribution to the charity of your choice, as long as it wasn't one of those make believe ones.
If you help us out I promise you we will work as hard as we can to help stop this attack Iran craziness. And I will let you in on little secret. We know that their medium range missiles are very accurate now and if you attack their facilities they are going to rain them down on yours. And that Iron Dome thing...it does not work too well.
And take Dimona for example, the big stockpile of nuclear waste you have there. Once those barrels are hit and that stuff gets vaporized and spread around, the half life is two million years. It may be hard for you to understand this now, but if we can help stop that you will really be happy with us, and so will we.
But...shush...don't tell anyone about this. It will be our little secret. And once you feel better about crossing over the river into the land of the light, we can begin chatting about how a country your size, similar to Metro Atlanta, would need all that WMD, nuclear, chemical and bio weapons, the nuclear subs and all.
Oh sure, we know you stole a lot of the technology from here, and Germany built your offensive nuclear subs for you at a discount, but you still had to pay for some of it. We just can't figure out how you paid for it all. Heck, Atlanta would be broke with all of that stuff.
Let us know when you catch that dirty leaker. He needs a new job anyway. I would be embarrassed to leak something that was 'not too scary'. And lastly Mr. Landau, you can trust me that all of our communications will be strictly confidential. I don't even know where Ynet is!!